Releasing the shame of secrets & trauma w. Dr Jill Stocker
Are you in denial about your toxic family?
Keeping secrets about your past?
Locking away secrets in the vault of the subconscious mind is a recipe for illness, anxiety and dis-ease. When we hide from the truth or deny the reality of our past, it can disrupt the nervous system leading to a host of mental illnesses and physical symptoms.
“We are only as sick as our secrets.” AA slogan
For many years I ran an outpatient treatment program for binge eating disorder. As you may know, this is a condition that many people hide or feel shame about. In group therapy, many of my patients found immense freedom and peace when they unburdened their mind by opening up about their compulsive habits, the family dysfunction and childhood trauma.
And when they could see that no one was shaming them and that many others traveled similar paths, they found acceptance and forgiveness easier to embrace. And their recovery became smoother.
It’s as if letting go of the burden of keeping secrets and hidden shame led to more healing energy to flow.
Coming out of denial: my new reality
I only recently came to recognize how growing up in a dysfunctional family impacted my wellbeing. All through my childhood I felt sad and I didn’t know why. On the outside it looked like my family was fine, but I now see the negative impact of my parents’ divorce, the harsh, critical energy in our home and how no one admitting that what was going on wasn’t healthy — all of that is what made me depressed.
Part of my recovery and learning to love myself has been helped tremendously by sharing my experiences in safe support groups, with trusted friends and of course with therapists. And knowing how many people don’t have safe spaces to voice their feelings is part of why I made the #RealSelfLove Movement a no-cost secure place to heal and evolve.
I never intended to ‘air my family’s laundry’ online or on stage, but it has become a major part of my recovery journey, and seeing how many other people it has inspired to speak up and get help moves me to my core!
This level of self-disclosure is not common among physicians and therapists. And it’s not for everyone! I’m happy that my parents have seen my talks and we’ve healed the past
Sharing my story inspires others
In 2017 I met Dr. Jill Stocker online after speaking about my experience with postpartum depression on Facebook live. She told me that she was amazed and inspired by my share — because she had experienced it too, but didn’t speak openly about it.
Jill has come to many of my retreats and events and is now so comfortable with sharing her story with others she’s even educating doctors in America about how they need to really listen to their patients more — especially before giving them antidepressants.
It can be relieving and revitalizing to own your truth, heal your shame and embrace your Authentic Self.
Coming out of denial and isolation doesn’t have to be so lonely or scary. We are with you!