From My Heart to Yours (Podcast) My mom’s influence on my career and life path of no regrets living (FMH_Ep1)
Lately I’ve been inspired to share with you, beautiful soul, in a simple way, from my heart. ❣️
So I’m launching a new podcast! It’s an unscripted sharing of the messages from my heart and downloads from the Divine called “From My Heart to Yours.”
After seeing my TEDx “Become Who You Are” and “Music Saved My Life: My Journey from Depression to Real Self Love,” many people around the world shared that you have found comfort in knowing that you are not alone in the pursuit of your life purpose.
And many have asked what happened after my spiritual awakening in my near death experience. Questions came in about how I overcame my subconscious programming based on my childhood.
Curiosity about whether I regret going to medical school and how I got the courage to leave a big media career and move to France.
Well, I have wanted to answer the hundreds of emails and direct messages, but I couldn’t keep up!
But still my heart was touched by the need that I felt to offer comfort, inspiration and support. And so, here I am now sharing From My Heart to Yours, an unscripted podcast that allows me to open up to you, with no agenda. Just love beamed across cyberspace to you.
You can leave comments and ask questions and I’ll answer as often as I can.
Please let me know what you think of this new format and if you like this, share it with someone else, and please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform to help others find it.
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FROM MY HEART TO YOURS | EPISODE 1
How my mother inspired me to live with no regrets
My mother has been a feisty example of how to live as your authentic self, defy stereotypes and die with no regrets. She was born in the 30’s in British Guyana, the last of 5 children. She was devastated by the loss of her mother to Type 2 diabetes complications. Her mother’s death inspired her to move to England to become a nurse — despite the protests of her family. Years later, she immigrated to the USA and went on to become a medical doctor at the age of 38!
After watching my first TEDx “Become Who You Are” a few years ago, she told me that she could tell I was living my purpose. And she told me that she knew she had lived her purpose in this life and that she feels ready to ‘meet her maker’. She says that if she were to die today she expects to hear Him say, “Job well done.” Knowing that my mom feels that she can die with no regrets because she has fully lived her life purpose has inspired me to live my life with passion and confidence.
For free resources on how to liberate and love your authentic self and live a life of no regrets join the #RealSelfLove Movement at www.RealSelf.love You’ll find guided meditations, LifeWriting journal exercises and so much more inspiration for your journey of Conscious Evolution & Awakened Living.
The views and opinions expressed here are for education purposes only. This podcast is not meant to diagnose or treat any medical or psychological condition. Before trying anything explained in this podcast please consult your qualified health professional.
Podcast Music by Bill Ferngren
Hello, beautiful soul. I pray that you were doing well.
I am sharing a little bit of my personal story just to give you some insight into why I’m doing
what I’m doing.
My mother has had a huge positive influence in my life.
So has my father but I want to focus on an aspect of the the influence that has really driven me.
So my mother grew up in British Guyana and she is one of five children.
And her mother unfortunately died
when my mom was just 11 years old my maternal grandmother had type 2 diabetes
and due to the complications,
unfortunately, my mother witnessed a slow painful death that really impacted my mom
a lot because my maternal grandmother was apparently this very bold
and fierce woman who had Inherited a soap Factory.
She was an entrepreneur, you know long before it was a cool
fashionable thing to do if you can imagine in the 20s
and in British Guyana,
and so my mother had seen her own mom
as this Fierce businesswoman defying the odds and when she died,
my mom was devastated to say the least she was the youngest of the five children.
And she was the one I think who is probably affected the most
and my mother decided when she was a teenager that she wanted to become a nurse.
So she convinced her brothers who were kind of the caretakers of the estate.
She convinced them to let her go to nursing school in England.
Now at the time the main objection was if you
go away and become a nurse you’re going to have to see naked people which was like scandalous,
right? But she was determined
and when she got to England
and she found out as a nurse that type 2 diabetes was manageable that it was even
preventable that you didn’t have to die from that disease.
She was doubly devastated
but it was at that time that she made a commitment to never let
another person died of a preventable disease.
So this really became a crusade for her butt in.
The course of her leaving her home country of Guyana moving to Great Britain to do nursing school.
Being no longer under the watchful eye of the family.
She she started to explore life and she often would tell these stories about you know,
this very handsome German boy that she dated
and how she would go out dancing
and she remembers telling me that I remember her telling me this this phrase.
She said that, you know growing up in Catholic School.
do you remember that Mother Superior said the sin is not in the doing it’s in the over doing
so she had learned her own sense of living with moderation my mom
really loves great music particularly reggae
and soca she loves to dance
and growing up you know I remember my mom always going to like the Governor’s Ball
and Colorado and dancing and she just she loved to party in her version of the word
so my mom did move to America she married an American
and immigrated but what she found out when she started working in a hospital in California.
She saw that the way that doctors spoke down to nurses was just appalling
it just rubbed her the all kinds of the wrong way
and at that point she was in her late 30s,
and she had three small children. She decided to go to medical school and you know in her words.
She said here I was this immigrant with a funny
accent and brown skin and who did she think she was to go into this very paternalistic system,
but she did she got into med school
and defied all odds she tells the stories often about
what it was like to kind of like school these Physicians on
what it could be like to be compassionate
and caring and not have to be so domineering just because you have an MD after your name.
So it was interesting for me to grow up with a mother as a physician.
I would go with her on her hospital rounds on the weekends
and mainly just hang out in the gift shop.
But you know kind of seeing the love that her patients
and the nursing staff had for her and that sense of graceful Authority really impressed me.
And when I was in my teenage years, I became the manager of her private practice,
you know kind of doing the In the paperwork
and confirming appointment
but it was really nice because it gave me the ability to kind of watch her in action.
Now, I love the fact that she knew
so much to me that there’s just something cool about knowing what’s happening inside of our bodies.
My mother was also very fascinated with the mind.
I think my first books on understanding the subconscious mind were ones that I took from her
and it was a book from her.
That I took about Jungian analysis of dreams.
So all of that stuff like really fascinated me and my mom and I really had that that connection.
So it’s not surprising that I became a doctor
and I actually love I love what that background has done for me now.
It’s not in and of itself enough
because on the other side of that as I’ve also shared I’m an artist I love,
you know, performing arts and creative arts,
you know, and so many domains, but the nice thing is that my mom never discouraged me from that.
If you’ve seen my TED talk, you know, my father had a different sort of take but my mom,
you know, she was she loved singing and she took piano lessons in her 40s and she supported me,
you know, she came to all of my opening nights
and closing nights of all of my stage plays
and musicals and when I was playing trumpet in the the Jazz Band,
you know, she was always there
and so that was really just so beautiful for me to feel that sort of support.
we even got to work together
when I opened up a wellness center in the DC area my mom moved up from Atlanta to DC
and we were able to kind of tag team.
I was doing much more on the subconscious mind stuff helping people to
reprogram their beliefs around there the their self worth
and self will love because we were focusing a lot at that time on Addiction
and eating disorders and obesity
and of course being a physician
and doing Age Management medicine
and acupuncture it gave a more holistic vibe to everything that we treated
and saw at this Wellness Center.
And it was probably after I had my daughter close the center moved to France.
I was hearing that sometimes the conversations with my mom.
She was losing certain details,
you know right now at the age of 87.
She’s got pretty Advanced Alzheimer’s
and that was really hard to watch
because this is she was also a very feisty Fierce
and Proud woman so to have watched her go through losing her memory
and now becoming more dependent on other people that was really
tough for her and it was tough to watch
but it what’s interesting is that her Alzheimer’s really didn’t kick in heavily
until her mid-70s and now talking to more of the family members.
All of her sisters and brothers had cognitive decline
and most likely Alzheimer’s dementia some as early as as their 40s and 50s.
And so I think it’s the healthy lifestyle that idea of doing things in moderation dancing
and partying and being you know,
she was she was in that Jane Fonda aerobics craze during the 70’s 80’s,
whatever that was. So she remained fit, she ate well,
She slept well she partied. Well, she traveled the world
and she really was a model of a woman who defied convention
and did things her way in every way and that really has been an influence that has stuck with me.
So a few years ago my daughter and I were visiting my mom and this was just after my TED Talk went
live, the first Ted Talk that I did in Monte Monte Carlo called “Become who you are.”
That was kind of a big deal for me. Now,
of course, most people can see
or hear me and I’m completely out about my life about being very woo-woo,
being a spiritual teacher now more than I’m a doctor or coach or anything else,
but that Ted Talk was really the first time
that I admitted how much I struggled with depression
and anxiety when I was more in the box more just literally being a doc in the Box working
for Discovery Channel and hosting documentaries
and doing the news but in a very confined branded way
and so doing that TED talk, admitting that I had depression
admitting that I had had a spiritual awakening
with this out-of-body near-death like experience was a big coming out
for me and so being able to pull out my laptop on the bed sitting
there with my mom I had her watch it.
And this was at a point with her dementia where she still had a good 20 minutes of memory
and then she’d forget things that had just happened.
So she got to watch this Ted Talk and at the end
there goes the Applause. I close down the laptop and she just started to nod and she said “well done.
I can tell you’re doing the Masters work.” And for my mom with her good Catholic background,
she’s always talked about the master, God,
you know and that we’re here to really do God’s work.
And then she said to me, “you know,
I have lived a really full life.
Of course, I’d love to go dancing a little bit more and have a boyfriend.
But if I were to cock up my toes and meet my maker,
I believe he would say job well done.”
And that just like really touched me
because I at the time was really struggling watching my mom deteriorate,
her memory go when she had been like the most intelligent woman
I had seen up to that point.
But hearing that she didn’t have any regrets
because she has lived a full life her own way
as her authentic self doing all of the things that even her family would never
have agreed to doing things that the patriarchal medical system in America
might not have agreed with she lived life fully.
and on her own terms And so it was just
so touching for me because after she said that she could die at that moment without regrets.
She said yeah, you know, you’re doing a master’s work.
Keep going keep doing it. And she said,
of course, I wish that you and my granddaughter were in America more.
But if you love France,
that’s where you need to be.
And it was as if she was giving me her blessing not that I needed
it because I’ve already lived in France.
I’ve been living my life pretty powerfully but that statement at that moment,
especially after seeing that first Ted Talk, which was at that time very pivotal in my life,
it was a big moment and having the confidence that I now have today around who
I am and what I stand for and where I’ve been and the vision for where I’m going.
I feel a hundred percent like aligned.
Part of what we do in the Buddhist tradition is we meditate on our own
death like you imagine yourself laying there
and exhaling your final breath.
and I often think back to my mom and I wonder If I were laying on my deathbed,
could I go out like she is ready to go out with no regrets.
And part of that spiritual path and the tradition that I practice.
the best way you could really be able to breathe out that final breath
and know that your the continuum of your conscience your soul is going on favorably
is to know that you’ve really lived your purpose full out.
And that you’ve contributed in this world in a positive way,
you know generating merit
or positive Karma turning away from doing things that are just egoic
or selfish. And over the last few years,
I’ve been able to more and more and more dedicate all of my time all of my business affairs
and the work that I do to living my purpose full out.
It’s not just a side thing. The spiritual teaching that I really am fully
believe is my life’s purpose is not just a side thing.
It is front and center. It is the number one thing that I’m pursuing in every area of my life.
And so this idea of living and dying without regret.
Is a central theme that you’re here with
me and with my colleague and partner in Diamond Life design Deri Llewellyn-Davies ,
you know his story of living
and dying with regret is very different
because his father just a couple of days before he died said to Deri, “son,
I regret so much.” He was going out with regret
for the things that he hadn’t done the dreams that he’d never dared
to chase and so this theme of living without regret
and living as your authentic self is a hundred percent of why I do what I do.
To be able to hear my mother say those words was like the greatest
sense of fulfillment that I could have
for her even as she continued to lose her memory
and become more and more dependent knowing that she’s lived her
purpose and feels that she’s ready to meet her maker as she puts it that’s phenomenal.
And that’s what I want for you.
So everything that I do the books the podcast the Retreats and Workshops the film’s the TV shows.
All of it. Is with the intention of helping you connect to that Divine
light within you connect to your essential self.
So that as you’re here on the planet, you can be living
as your authentic self and living a life of No Regrets where you are consciously
architecting your life in a way that’s in alignment with your souls purpose
so that you too can be evolving spiritually.
Every year of your life and it’s okay.
If you’re in the phase of your life where you do need to focus on work
and establishing yourself on the planet like we go through those phases.
That’s totally fine here I am nearing the age of 50.
I’m in a different stage.
But no matter what stage or age you’re in you can be really
focused on aligning with the the purpose
and the evolution of your soul and that’s what it’s about.
It’s about conscious evolution rather than than being thrown
around by chance rather than always being molded
or pushed by the environment rather than looking externally
and finding out do you fit in do you measure up conscious that evolution is
about tuning in to your soul tuning into your purpose
or what we call your Dharma your life’s purpose
and then consciously and intentionally choosing to align everything that you do.
So that you’re evolving on that path. As a soul.
We are all here on a journey of Ascension.
We are all evolving into these higher and higher States Of Consciousness and awareness,
and so by choosing and making that conscious choice you put yourself into relationship with life.